Wedding Blog Party

Whether you decide to propose at a Yankee Game, on top of the Eiffel Tower, or on your couch with a home cooked meal, chances are that you want it to be a surprise.  However, by the time you are ready to propose, your significant other has probably already sniffed you out.  Her inner Nancy Drew emerges and she (or he) begins looking and listening for anything out of the ordinary. For me, since my girlfriend already knew that the coveted ring was being made (see “The Ring”), my chances of orchestrating a successful surprise were basically slim to none.

I had a fairly simple plan of how I wanted to propose.  I knew I was going to do it at our favorite restaurant, where we had our first date, and I knew I wanted both of our families to be there. After coordinating with everyone and setting a date, I needed to make sure that my girlfriend would be available.  I created a fake email address that resembled a wedding vendor and sent an invite email to myself for a “work event,” which just so happened to be located in the same neighborhood as our favorite restaurant. I then forwarded the email to my girlfriend asking her if she would like to go with me.  The work event was a perfect cover, it even gave me an excuse to dress nicely without raising suspicions (I like pajama pants).  After she said yes, I casually mentioned that we should grab a glass of wine at our favorite restaurant first, and then spent the next hour patting myself on the back for being so creative and tricking her.  Then I got the email from her mom…

Apparently, my girlfriend was on to me and she had emailed her mom saying so.  I immediately implemented Operation MAMPAP (Make as many plans as possible). “Dane Cook is playing at the Garden.  He almost made me laugh once, we gotta go see him.”  Springsteen at Giants Stadium, Pearl Jam in Philly, pigeon feeding in Central Park, etc.  I even threw in a plan to go ice skating at Rockefeller Center for a friends birthday in December in hopes of diverting her suspicions.

Finally, the big day arrived and I was ready to sit across the table from her and spit out a whole speech that I had prepared in my head. But when the moment finally came, I froze and omitted about 75% of my spiel. Not to mention that there was not much space between each table in the restaurant, and when I dropped down on one knee, it felt awkward and clumsy to say the least.  Then, I was on one knee for what seemed like an eternity and eventually had to ask her to answer me before she said yes.  But if I had to describe the night in one word…it was perfect.

I guess the moral of my story is that it does not matter whether your plan is thrown a little off kilter, or whether your girlfriend suddenly morphs into an arguably crazy, modern-day Sherlock Holmes—it is a joyous occasion and the only important thing is to have fun with it.  I barely remember what I said before I gave her the ring, but I will never forget all of the stupid things that I said and did to try and trick her, the secret emails with her mom, planning a surprise vacation to celebrate, and the entire experience as a whole.

So, now I’m engaged, and we have a wedding to plan.  Let the fun begin……

[EDITOR'S NOTE: JASON REALLY DOES PREFER PAJAMA PANTS. SEE BELOW.]

Having popped the question last week, I am now looking forward to eagerly feigning an interest in our wedding invitations, flowers, attire, etc.  As a typical 28 year old male, I care about the venue, the food, the music, and that’s pretty much it.  I’m going to leave the rest to my fiance who has been nice enough to grant me veto power in case I really have a problem with anything (I won’t).  Hopefully, my blog entries will spark some good ideas, assist others who might soon be planning a wedding, and give me a good place to vent as this wedding slowly consumes my entire life for the next year.

The first challenge for the guys is the ring.  What kind of ring will she like?  How does one go about purchasing a diamond ring?  Will my landlord except IOU’s for a few months?   The best way to get started is to talk to people you know.  I was surprised to find that almost everyone I knew had some sort of “connection” with someone in the diamond district in Manhattan.  The next step is to go to Tiffany’s and Cartier, strictly as a way to learn about the industry.  Depending on your situation, you may want to bring your girlfriend along in order to get a good idea of what styles she likes and dislikes.   Either way, dress nice and act as if you are looking to purchase something on the spot, otherwise the salespeople there won’t take the time to answer your questions.  Also, don’t be intimidated by their prices.  Calling them a bit inflated would be like calling Bill Gates comfortable.   After leaving these stores, you should have a good idea of how to describe your ideal ring.  Now, you need to find a jeweler that you trust and don’t be scared to ask for huge discounts as the markups on diamonds leave plenty of room for negotiation.

My personal situation went a bit differently.  After asking her father for permission, I was not only given her parents blessing, but I was also given a gorgeous ring that belonged to her grandmother (Yet another reason to always ask the father’s permission).  The band itself was a bit old fashioned, however the diamond was stunning.  From there, I pretty much followed the above strategy.  I told my girlfriend something along the lines of, “I want to take you to look at rings, in case I decide one day that I want to marry you.  This way, I’ll know what you like and I can shop for one on my own without ruining the surprise.”  The way I see it, you only propose once, and I felt much better knowing that my girlfriend was basically designing the  ring herself.

I ended up using a good friends family to design and create the actual ring, A special thanks to Michael Menkin Inc. – 212 371-1092.  They were so easy to work with and their end product came out EXACTLY as I hoped.  It was amazing to see them make drawings based on my novice descriptions, and then give life to those drawings.   Once you have the ring, the next question is how to get it on her finger.

Check back soon for the next entry, creatively titled:  The Proposal.

In today’s rough economic times, we’re seeing a lot of bachelor parties being held at homes instead of the bars. Doing the party this way allows everyone to drink cheaper and also lends itself to creative mixology. Here are a few recipes that The Man Registry team can personally vouch for.

Jungle Juice – This concoction is best known as a college party drink. Need I say more?

Ingredients – ** Makes enough for the entire party** 2 liters of Everclear, 1 gallon of orange juice, 4 liters of Sprite, 2 quarts of cranberry juice, 2 quarts of iced tea, 1 gallon of red Hawaiian Punch, 4 oranges, 4 apples, and 2 limes.

Directions – Pour the Everclear into a large cooler or Tupperware container, add in all of the mixers and stir, cut up the fruit and drop into the finished product.

California Gold Rush – A great looking cocktail that most people have never heard of.

Ingredients – 12 oz. 7-Up, 2 oz. vodka, 1.5oz. Goldschlager

Directions – Pour 7-Up and SLOWLY stir in vodka and Goldschlager.

Best Man Speech – The drink gets its name because of the number of best man speeches it has been directly responsible for destroying.

Ingredients – 3 beers, 3 shots of whiskey, 1 can of frozen pink lemonade

Directions – Pour the beer, vodka, and lemonade into a pitcher and mix. Serve ice cold.

As always, we encourage everyone to be responsible during the bachelor party. The great thing about holding the party at the home of the groom or best man is that it gives everyone a place to crash for the night. If someone insists on leaving, make sure the number of a local cab company is made available.

Cheers!

What bride does not want to be the center of attention at her own wedding (along with her new husband, of course)?  However, as beautiful as a wedding gown may be, it is not the easiest piece of apparel in which to party the night away.  You can be stylish, chic and comfortable while still looking every bit “the bride”.   Several wedding gown designers are taking into account the somewhat divergent tones of the ceremony and reception by designing convertible gowns (Check out this one from Martina Liana). For the bride who does not want a complete change of clothing there are gowns with a removable over-layer, attaching either on the top or at the waist of the dress.  A removable train can solve the fuss of a bustle and avoid the calamity of a guest (or worse yet, your new husband) stepping on the bustled-up train and tearing the attachment.  Another great option is a dress with a bottom layer that attaches underneath with velcro, buttons or hooks – remove the bottom layer and voila! you are party-ready.   If you really want a different look, everyone will still ooh and ahh over you in a beautiful white cocktail dress.  Depending on your personal style, you can be sexy or sophisticated, but definitely chic and special.  But remember to keep that gorgeous gown on for your grand entrance as the new couple and for your very special first dance!

Having been a bridesmaid myself, as well as listening to others complain about their dress dilemmas, I was very excited to come across Lynn Lugo’s website www.lynnlugobridal.com where you can customize your own bridesmaid dress!  You can choose from a variety of dress styles as well as tops and bottoms, and then between solid, patterned, and charmeuse fabrics.  Also, there are options you can add to the dress including ruffles, sashes and hems in different colors.  After designing the bridesmaid dress of your dreams, (one that you might actually wear again) you can view the price listings and size charts and print out or e-mail it to the bride!  In addition, the bride has the ability to order swatches of the fabrics she likes right from the site and show them to her bridesmaids before they create their dress style.  And the best part; you can plan all of this using WeddingRelay! Here is the one I made!

The Q: I recently got engaged (about a month before Thanksgiving) and was completely overwhelmed by the number of wedding questions everyone was asking me at Thanksgiving.  I sort of wanted to take my time with this…. Anyway, my fiance and I haven’t really made much progress in the last few weeks and I’m not sure how to deal with all the questions, questions when we see them all for Christmas.  How can I politely get them off my back?

The A: It’s a tricky thing… I think a lot of brides feel that their enthusiasm for wedding planning somehow is related to their degree of love and excitement about the marriage and it isn’t (AT ALL).  Plus, there is always that nagging feeling that maybe you SHOULD be doing something more about the wedding and you are messing everything up…So it’s coupling bridal sensitivity with what’s perceived as a generally  fun topic of conversation for a group:  wedding planning.  “What bride doesn’t want to talk about their wedding?” kind of thing.

I would say that you can either opt to completely table it for 2009 and say to your family:  “You know, we haven’t really put a lot of thought into it yet.  We wanted to just enjoy being engaged over the holidays and start the planning in 2010.”  For the most part, people will accept that.  But the important thing is to not seem insensitive.  It’s even OK to say, “I was so overwhelmed with it, I didn’t want to start until the New Year.”

Your other option is the use this time to gather addresses and information, and that in and of itself will make it seem like you are at least thinking about something.  In which case you say “We really haven’t thought about what we’re going to do, but while we’re here, do you have the family addresses that you can send me/ print for me?  We’re not sure yet how large a wedding it might need to be.”  And so on and so forth.   But beware:  if you and your fiance haven’t had any basic wedding “talks”, opening up this talk to your families could be a recipe for disaster and TOO many opinions (My Big Fat Greek Wedding comes to mind)

Best of luck and remember, there is NOTHING wrong with easing into the wedding planning process!

(Note: If you are in need of a film to put your family issues into perspective, click here! -> Four Christmases Trailer)

We are so excited to bring you our first Real Wedding for Wedding Blog Party! After receiving many submissions for this post, we chose to feature a wedding that embodies creativity and personal style. John and Kendra knew they shared something special the first time they met. Kendra confessed to John that she has always dreamed of owning a 1957 Bel Air, and after finding out John works with cars for a living, love was clearly in the air.. John has owned many classics and their mutual love of these cars inspired their car themed wedding. We congratulate John and Kendra on their recent marriage and know that their love will remain as classic as Kendra’s 1957 Bel Air!

Check out these awesome pics from their engagement and wedding…

As always, our friends at The Man Registry are ahead of the curve. Using methods such as Jedi Mind Tricks combined with Chris Easter’s Charm, they have procured 3 copies of Disney’s upcoming release, THE PROPOSAL! Check out their blog post on Groom’s Advice, and then GET TO WORK!

Good luck!

There are three ways you can enter:

1.) Leave a comment with your story at the bottom of this post. Don’t forget to include your e-mail address.

2.) Tweet us your story

3.) Become a fan on Facebook and leave us a comment with your story

On October 17th, we’ll announce 3 winners and also post a blog with our favorite entries! Good luck!

Although we are all trying to cut back on our expenses lately, there are plenty of ways to still have the wedding of your dreams without the financial nightmares.  The first step is to sit down with your fiance and prioritize which elements are most important to you.  Based on this, do some research of general pricing and get an idea of how much you would be willing to spend in each area.  (with WeddingRelay’s planning tools, you can organize your funds, write down appointments, checklists, etc.)  When hiring vendors, tell them up front the amount of money you have designated.  You should be honest with them and trust them to work with this price to make your wedding as beautiful as possible.  These are some affordable alternatives to the planning process that will not require you to cut your guest list or make any major compromises:

Ÿ Get much cheaper rates for most vendors on a weeknight or Sunday.

Ÿ Use people you know for music, officiating, etc.

Ÿ Be crafty!  You won’t believe how well you can make centerpieces and decorations yourself or with your bridal party.

Ÿ Rent potted plants for the tables—white balloons are elegant as well!

Ÿ Talk to your caterer about children’s plates.

Ÿ Leave most of the picture taking to your friends with digital cameras.

Ÿ Keep an open bar during cocktail hour only; serve wine with dinner.

Ÿ You can buy once-worn dresses online or even rent a dress.

Ÿ For invitations—purchase invitation paper and print them yourself or order them with fewer pieces with an RSVP e-mail address and single envelope.

Ÿ Instead of a sit-down dinner, consider a buffet, dessert, brunch, or luncheon.

Ÿ Choose flowers that are in season.

As the wedding day approaches, it’s not uncommon for the groom to get some sort of cold feet. The most important thing to remember is that this is a natural occurrence and happens to most men as they prepare to kiss their bachelorhood goodbye.

Here are a few things that grooms can do to help alleviate some of the pressure and warm up those cold feet:

Relax!

Most grooms who have experienced cold feet say that the main cause is nerves and the pressure that comes along with preparing for the big day. The best thing you can do for this is to get your mind off the wedding and relax for a few days.  Taking in a ball game, going on a weekend camping trip or simply getting a group of friends together for a poker night are some great activities that will help get your mind off the wedding. It’s amazing what a night without mention of flowers, menus and guests lists can do for your pre-wedding psyche.

Here are some other pre-wedding stress relievers to consider.

Get involved in a marriage prep course
If you’re getting married in a place of worship, you’re probably going to be required to take some sort of pre-marriage planning classes with your bride-to-be. These classes are all about the meaning of marriage and what your vows mean to your fiancé and to your religion. Having this information re-enforced can often work wonders and remind you why you want to spend the rest of your life with your fiancé.

If you’ve already taken your marriage prep classes, there’s no reason you can’t meet with a religious leader or community member and discuss your cold feet. Trust me; you aren’t the first groom to get cold feet. Chances are that whomever you decide to talk to has a game plan and will understand and help you through this confusing time.

Go over wedding plans

Another common cause of cold feet is worrying about a huge wedding disaster.  Will the Best Man ruin the speech? What if there’s not enough food? What if I trip and fall walking down the aisle? Realistically, there is little or no chance of a major disaster taking place. However, there’s no reason not to be uber prepared for one.  Take some time to review all wedding plans with your bride to make sure everything is setup for success. Eliminating worries will go a long way towards getting rid of those cold feet!

We want to hear from the readers of Wedding Blog Party. What are some other ways for grooms to get over their cold feet? Leave your comments below!

Cheers!